Every man is looking for just one thing,
They say they love me but they really don't know what it means.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
Anymore
It's like you don't see me,
Like you don't want me to be,
Standing next to you,
Pretending like you don't have a clue.
You know that I'm here,
But it's like you don't want to hear,
My shout for attention,
Like I'm living in another dimension.
I'm fighting this,
Harder than before,
Trying to get my head around,
Not to fall in love anymore.
I have secrets you may never see,
Kept deep inside of my heart,
Far away where no one can be,
Trying to get in, you must be hard.
Look into my eyes,
They are filled with lies,
But they won't lie to you,
'Cause you are too good to be true.
Like you don't want me to be,
Standing next to you,
Pretending like you don't have a clue.
You know that I'm here,
But it's like you don't want to hear,
My shout for attention,
Like I'm living in another dimension.
I'm fighting this,
Harder than before,
Trying to get my head around,
Not to fall in love anymore.
I have secrets you may never see,
Kept deep inside of my heart,
Far away where no one can be,
Trying to get in, you must be hard.
Look into my eyes,
They are filled with lies,
But they won't lie to you,
'Cause you are too good to be true.
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Am I a Believer?
As usual I was thinking again, but this time it was a conversation I had with a good friend yesterday, which gave rise to my thoughts. We were talking about Religion, which was in contrast with the topic we spoke about five minutes before that: sex.
She is a believer, she is Christian and she believes in a God. But still, she is the most extrovert person I know and is not ashamed to speak about what should not be mentioned. If you ask her about her sex life, she will give you every single detail. If you ask her about anything else 'bad', she will admit that she smokes, not only cigarettes but drugs as well, and that she is addicted to men.
She finds herself happy, with parents that love her, a lovely sister, and two little brothers that take care of each other, just like a happy family is supposed to be. They have enough money to buy the world, or at least what they really need (and more). If God really exists, shouldn't he be punishing her, for her bad deeds; having sex before marriage (with several men) and everything else she is doing? Why is she happy? Why is my life different from hers, while I live with different and 'better' standards such as: not going to bed with every single guy?
She also told me that she does believe that Jesus got up out of his 'grave' to be there for the other people and to help them, but she doesn't believe that God punishes people according to what is right and wrong. To me, punishing people seems to be more logical, if you make a mistake, and something bad happens you can say: it was God punishing me, but you can't trace back whether Jesus did get up or not.
Besides this she told me she had some doubts about her Christianity as well, she explained this by saying: 'You can believe in God, and follow his instruction, doing what he wants you to do; helping other people, be a good person by not thinking about yourself, only others, but then you don't dwell on it, or think about it properly. You do good deeds for others by putting yourself in second place; because that's when you go to heaven. You don't have to worry about it anymore because you already won a place in heaven. The people who are real believers, are the people who have their doubts. They dwell on the thoughts, they stand still and take their moments to think about it. Sometimes when you have to make a big decision, or sometimes when it comes out of nowhere'.
I don't believe that God rules the world, I don't believe 'someone' made this place, I don't believe Jesus got up out of his 'grave', I don't believe someone decides what is wrong or right, or that someone punishes for the mistakes committed. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even when they are unexplanable. But I do stand still every now and then to think about it, and even I have got some doubts because sometimes there aren't any other explanations (yet).
Does that make me a believer?
She is a believer, she is Christian and she believes in a God. But still, she is the most extrovert person I know and is not ashamed to speak about what should not be mentioned. If you ask her about her sex life, she will give you every single detail. If you ask her about anything else 'bad', she will admit that she smokes, not only cigarettes but drugs as well, and that she is addicted to men.
She finds herself happy, with parents that love her, a lovely sister, and two little brothers that take care of each other, just like a happy family is supposed to be. They have enough money to buy the world, or at least what they really need (and more). If God really exists, shouldn't he be punishing her, for her bad deeds; having sex before marriage (with several men) and everything else she is doing? Why is she happy? Why is my life different from hers, while I live with different and 'better' standards such as: not going to bed with every single guy?
She also told me that she does believe that Jesus got up out of his 'grave' to be there for the other people and to help them, but she doesn't believe that God punishes people according to what is right and wrong. To me, punishing people seems to be more logical, if you make a mistake, and something bad happens you can say: it was God punishing me, but you can't trace back whether Jesus did get up or not.
Besides this she told me she had some doubts about her Christianity as well, she explained this by saying: 'You can believe in God, and follow his instruction, doing what he wants you to do; helping other people, be a good person by not thinking about yourself, only others, but then you don't dwell on it, or think about it properly. You do good deeds for others by putting yourself in second place; because that's when you go to heaven. You don't have to worry about it anymore because you already won a place in heaven. The people who are real believers, are the people who have their doubts. They dwell on the thoughts, they stand still and take their moments to think about it. Sometimes when you have to make a big decision, or sometimes when it comes out of nowhere'.
I don't believe that God rules the world, I don't believe 'someone' made this place, I don't believe Jesus got up out of his 'grave', I don't believe someone decides what is wrong or right, or that someone punishes for the mistakes committed. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even when they are unexplanable. But I do stand still every now and then to think about it, and even I have got some doubts because sometimes there aren't any other explanations (yet).
Does that make me a believer?
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Friendship
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on. Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season. LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Standard things about me
Name: Alicia
Nickname: Ali, Aal, Aaltje, Appleflap, Pancake, Monster, Terrorist, The crazy one, Wacky Fuck, etc. etc.
Date of birth: 18/12/1991
Constellation: Sagittarius
School: Reed's
City or countryside: Inbetween
Pets: Dog
Favourite colour: Turquoise
Favourite food: Greek salad
Most disgusting food: combination fish and mustard
Which mobile: Nokia 3
Sun or snow: sun
Sea or swimmingpool: Sea
Summer holiday or christmas holiday: Summer holiday
In love? Yes
With who: with my new boyfriend, Benjamin
Do you believe in love on first sight: Love on first sight really is just sexual attraction, so yes.
Do you remember your first kiss: Ohhh yes baby...
Sweetest and most pleasant person you know: My best friend, Lisa
Most beautiful moment in your life: When I first met my best friend
Most romantic moment in your life: When I was watching a romantic film..hahaha
What is lying under your bed: school stuff
Do you sleep with cuddle toys: Nop.
Which colour are your walls: white
What is your addiction: liquorice
Favourite ice cream: caramel, or Ben and Jerry's
What do you spend the most money on: clothes
Who was the last person you saw: my uncle and aunt
Who was the last person you spoke to: my uncle and aunt
Messenger or texts: messenger
Cat or dog: dog
Simple or complicated: complicated
Cry or laugh: Crying my eyes out because it is so funny
Shy or spontaneous: a mixture
Sweet or stupid: sweet
Going out or staying at home: going out
Alcohol or cola: alcohol
Smoke or not? not
What was your first thought when you got up this morning: What's that bloody noise? Oh, it's my bloody alarm telling me to get up...Frick!
Nickname: Ali, Aal, Aaltje, Appleflap, Pancake, Monster, Terrorist, The crazy one, Wacky Fuck, etc. etc.
Date of birth: 18/12/1991
Constellation: Sagittarius
School: Reed's
City or countryside: Inbetween
Pets: Dog
Favourite colour: Turquoise
Favourite food: Greek salad
Most disgusting food: combination fish and mustard
Which mobile: Nokia 3
Sun or snow: sun
Sea or swimmingpool: Sea
Summer holiday or christmas holiday: Summer holiday
In love? Yes
With who: with my new boyfriend, Benjamin
Do you believe in love on first sight: Love on first sight really is just sexual attraction, so yes.
Do you remember your first kiss: Ohhh yes baby...
Sweetest and most pleasant person you know: My best friend, Lisa
Most beautiful moment in your life: When I first met my best friend
Most romantic moment in your life: When I was watching a romantic film..hahaha
What is lying under your bed: school stuff
Do you sleep with cuddle toys: Nop.
Which colour are your walls: white
What is your addiction: liquorice
Favourite ice cream: caramel, or Ben and Jerry's
What do you spend the most money on: clothes
Who was the last person you saw: my uncle and aunt
Who was the last person you spoke to: my uncle and aunt
Messenger or texts: messenger
Cat or dog: dog
Simple or complicated: complicated
Cry or laugh: Crying my eyes out because it is so funny
Shy or spontaneous: a mixture
Sweet or stupid: sweet
Going out or staying at home: going out
Alcohol or cola: alcohol
Smoke or not? not
What was your first thought when you got up this morning: What's that bloody noise? Oh, it's my bloody alarm telling me to get up...Frick!
20 facts about women
1. Women like to flirt
2. Women secretely like to be whistled at
3. Women are careful, you wouldn't immediately notice that she likes you or not.
4. We adore compliments
5. Women hate it when you ignore them
6. Women find it nice when you trust them, and when you show it.
7. Women like to feel wanted
8. Women worry very quickly when it is about their 'lover'. This doens't necessarily mean she doesn't trust him. She's just scared to lose him
9. Just ask us our mobile number, I'm sure we will give it to you.
10. We love simple, small presents that show us that you love us.
11. Relationships are sacred. You should accept her friends
12. When a women says 'no', she means: 'no'.
13. Women are smarter than they actually are when they first meet you.
14. Women preferably don't take the first step.
15. When a women likes you, she only sees your positive sides.
16. Women like it when you flirt with them. Even when you've known them for years
17. When a women is shy, she likes you!
18. Women like phonecalls and texts. Even if they are farely short!
19. We are not trying to make you jealous. We just know a lot of people.
20. Women like to feel save and be protected, but by their men.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Real beauty is natural beauty
Recognise this situation?: You walk past a window shop and you just can't resist to take a peak at yourself, whether it is because you are admiring how good your hair looks today, or how good your muscles come out in that new t-shirt, or how long your legs look in those trousers, or even to just do a quick check to see if everything is still in place. Everyone does it, even if we don't want to admit it. Even I do it. Some people might take a short peak, others might take a long peak so that sometimes other people around you think you are obsessed with yourself. What kind of person are you? The long-peaker or the short-peaker?
I am one of the short-peakers, although it used to be different. I always have been one of the bigger kids, not only in length but also in width, until I reached the age of 11-12. While I had my growing pains my mother got a terminal illness. In combination of that I started to loose weight. I grew so my skin got tighter and there were no signs of fat because I kept loosing weight. People had different feelings about it, some thought it was because of the stress of my mothers death, other people thought it was amazing and that I looked absolutely stunning. I received compliments and I felt physically better even though I was mentally touched. At that point the only thing that was good about my life was being thin. I felt proud of myself and when I was riding my bike I couldn't help but look at myself in the window shops or other objects that worked as a mirror. There were so many things going on at the same time; I moved to my uncle and aunt, I went to a different school, I started a new live etc. Without noticing I went to far and I started to collapse at school because I didn't eat enough. The doctor told me to eat more sugar as I never told that I didn't had breakfast in the morning, I threw my food away during lunch and because I was so weak in the evening I just went straight to bed without diner. Because the only food I ate was sugar I kind of became addicted to it. I started eating other things again.
So here I am: absolutely loving my food, can't live a day without, preferably eating more than necessary, and chubby again. Too afraid to look at myself because I have more fat than I want myself to have. But I still look at myself, because I started loving something else, which I hated about myself when I was obsessed about not eating; my curls.
Not everyone is perfect, and you definitely shouldn't feel perfect. Perfection leads to perdiction. I used to straighten my hair because I hated my curls. When I moved to England I realised how much better natural beauty actually was; I was trying to be fake. You have to understand that I hate fakeness. The girls in my school put on loads of make-up because they are insecure about their skin, and because they think it looks better on them. It doesn't. And yet, I seldome leave my house without make-up on because I do think it is important. The thing is that I don't over-do it. After all; real beauty is natural beauty.
I am one of the short-peakers, although it used to be different. I always have been one of the bigger kids, not only in length but also in width, until I reached the age of 11-12. While I had my growing pains my mother got a terminal illness. In combination of that I started to loose weight. I grew so my skin got tighter and there were no signs of fat because I kept loosing weight. People had different feelings about it, some thought it was because of the stress of my mothers death, other people thought it was amazing and that I looked absolutely stunning. I received compliments and I felt physically better even though I was mentally touched. At that point the only thing that was good about my life was being thin. I felt proud of myself and when I was riding my bike I couldn't help but look at myself in the window shops or other objects that worked as a mirror. There were so many things going on at the same time; I moved to my uncle and aunt, I went to a different school, I started a new live etc. Without noticing I went to far and I started to collapse at school because I didn't eat enough. The doctor told me to eat more sugar as I never told that I didn't had breakfast in the morning, I threw my food away during lunch and because I was so weak in the evening I just went straight to bed without diner. Because the only food I ate was sugar I kind of became addicted to it. I started eating other things again.
So here I am: absolutely loving my food, can't live a day without, preferably eating more than necessary, and chubby again. Too afraid to look at myself because I have more fat than I want myself to have. But I still look at myself, because I started loving something else, which I hated about myself when I was obsessed about not eating; my curls.
Not everyone is perfect, and you definitely shouldn't feel perfect. Perfection leads to perdiction. I used to straighten my hair because I hated my curls. When I moved to England I realised how much better natural beauty actually was; I was trying to be fake. You have to understand that I hate fakeness. The girls in my school put on loads of make-up because they are insecure about their skin, and because they think it looks better on them. It doesn't. And yet, I seldome leave my house without make-up on because I do think it is important. The thing is that I don't over-do it. After all; real beauty is natural beauty.
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Thursday, 23 April 2009
What I would do when...
What I would do when I was famous for a day: I would go out, sign autographs, make a single in just one day and bring it out on cd (hopefully it would become a major hit). Meet other famous people like Bruce Willis, Christina Aguilera, Charlie Simpson, etc, etc. Go clubbing with Paris Hilton (even though I don't like her).
What I would do when I was invisible for a day: I'd probably go out and steal a lot of designer clothes, and everything around me that's stealable and I want to have. Go round friends and see what they are up to in their free time while they think they are alone. Scare people (especially little kids they are the biggest laugh). Go to the cinema without paying. Turn on my boyfriend while he doesn't notice it. Annoy people and distract them when they are talking to someone else so that it looks as if they are mentally retarded. Talk to someone to make him/her think they are schizophreens.
What would I do when I would wake up one morning to find out that I am the only human being alive accompied by two sheep: First of all I would get a panic attack. Then I would go "free" shopping (including loads and loads of cakes and pastries from the bakery because that food is the best). I would leave my sheep behind to mate so they can re-build their family. I would go to a warm country and enjoy the sun, 'till I'm old and hopefully I would die happily.
What would I do when I got amazingly pissed, drunk too much, slept with the biggest nerd on the planet and the day after I would find out that I am pregnant: First of all I would go to a therapist to deal with my emotions (and hormones), than I would go and have an abortion (I have had plenty of discussions about this, because people see it as a form of killing, and I agree: It is a form of killing, but I'd rather want to kill my children before they are born than during, or before neglecting them because I can't take care of them. I am still a child myself as wel).
What would I do when my best friend came up to me and told me she was in love with me: I would tell her I am not in love with her, she would totally understand that.
What would I do when the fittest guy was stalking me: I would go to the police.
What would I do when I was in the center of a busy town (london) and my trousers would rip: That depends on what kind of mood I am, if I'm having a bad day I would start swearing and cover it up with a hoody or something, and I would immediately walk into the nearest shop to buy new trousers. If I had a good day and I'm happy I would make a sign out of paper saying: "Oh no, she ripped her trousers!" or "Don't look! You might see an asshole!"
What I would do when my mother would walk in with her new boyfriend, who turns out to be the worst teacher from my school: I would laugh right in her face and tell the teacher ever single juicy story about my mother and I would tell my mother all the juicy gossip that is going 'round the school about him (about how small his penis is and how he smells like seaweed).
What I would do when I would receive freaky phonecalls: Depends on what kind of phonecalls they are. If it is a heavy breather I would breath havily back just to annoy him. If nothing is said on the other side I would just put my phone aside so he/she gets charged while I am not even listening. If it is someone/thing who is making weird noises I would fart or burp in the phone and if it is someone from abroad speaking in their own language I would try to imitate his/her accent and just be annoying by saying everything wrong.
What I would do when I wasn't bored: I wouldn't fill this in.
What I would do when that hottie would ask me out while I have got a boyfriend: Politely say no and thank him for the offer. I would give him my phonenumber so that he can call me when I break up with my present boyfriend.
What I would do when I got used by a lover just for the sex: Actually, this almost happened to me, I got used but not for sex. Anyway, I would probably take him hostage, I would slice him up, put him in my refrigerator and fry his body parts for every single meal. No I am just joking. Depends on the situation again, I if was drunk I can't blame him or myself. If I am single and looking for sex I wouldn't blame myself or him either, because that means that he didn't just use me, if I had a boyfriend and had sex with him I still wouldn't blame him because that was my own stupid choice (I hate cheating by the way), and if I was in love with him and I was too naive to realise he was just using me I would still only blame myself.
What I would do when I get the lowest mark for a test, while I revised for it: I would revise even harder, ask the teachers for tips and extra lessons.
What would I do when I was at home alone and I would hear strange noises: I would go downstairs, get the biggest frying-pan in the house, if it is serious and the noises creep me out I probably would get a knife as well. I would get my cellphone just in case I need to call the police and I will wait untill something special/creepy/weird/etc happens
What I would do when I was invisible for a day: I'd probably go out and steal a lot of designer clothes, and everything around me that's stealable and I want to have. Go round friends and see what they are up to in their free time while they think they are alone. Scare people (especially little kids they are the biggest laugh). Go to the cinema without paying. Turn on my boyfriend while he doesn't notice it. Annoy people and distract them when they are talking to someone else so that it looks as if they are mentally retarded. Talk to someone to make him/her think they are schizophreens.
What would I do when I would wake up one morning to find out that I am the only human being alive accompied by two sheep: First of all I would get a panic attack. Then I would go "free" shopping (including loads and loads of cakes and pastries from the bakery because that food is the best). I would leave my sheep behind to mate so they can re-build their family. I would go to a warm country and enjoy the sun, 'till I'm old and hopefully I would die happily.
What would I do when I got amazingly pissed, drunk too much, slept with the biggest nerd on the planet and the day after I would find out that I am pregnant: First of all I would go to a therapist to deal with my emotions (and hormones), than I would go and have an abortion (I have had plenty of discussions about this, because people see it as a form of killing, and I agree: It is a form of killing, but I'd rather want to kill my children before they are born than during, or before neglecting them because I can't take care of them. I am still a child myself as wel).
What would I do when my best friend came up to me and told me she was in love with me: I would tell her I am not in love with her, she would totally understand that.
What would I do when the fittest guy was stalking me: I would go to the police.
What would I do when I was in the center of a busy town (london) and my trousers would rip: That depends on what kind of mood I am, if I'm having a bad day I would start swearing and cover it up with a hoody or something, and I would immediately walk into the nearest shop to buy new trousers. If I had a good day and I'm happy I would make a sign out of paper saying: "Oh no, she ripped her trousers!" or "Don't look! You might see an asshole!"
What I would do when my mother would walk in with her new boyfriend, who turns out to be the worst teacher from my school: I would laugh right in her face and tell the teacher ever single juicy story about my mother and I would tell my mother all the juicy gossip that is going 'round the school about him (about how small his penis is and how he smells like seaweed).
What I would do when I would receive freaky phonecalls: Depends on what kind of phonecalls they are. If it is a heavy breather I would breath havily back just to annoy him. If nothing is said on the other side I would just put my phone aside so he/she gets charged while I am not even listening. If it is someone/thing who is making weird noises I would fart or burp in the phone and if it is someone from abroad speaking in their own language I would try to imitate his/her accent and just be annoying by saying everything wrong.
What I would do when I wasn't bored: I wouldn't fill this in.
What I would do when that hottie would ask me out while I have got a boyfriend: Politely say no and thank him for the offer. I would give him my phonenumber so that he can call me when I break up with my present boyfriend.
What I would do when I got used by a lover just for the sex: Actually, this almost happened to me, I got used but not for sex. Anyway, I would probably take him hostage, I would slice him up, put him in my refrigerator and fry his body parts for every single meal. No I am just joking. Depends on the situation again, I if was drunk I can't blame him or myself. If I am single and looking for sex I wouldn't blame myself or him either, because that means that he didn't just use me, if I had a boyfriend and had sex with him I still wouldn't blame him because that was my own stupid choice (I hate cheating by the way), and if I was in love with him and I was too naive to realise he was just using me I would still only blame myself.
What I would do when I get the lowest mark for a test, while I revised for it: I would revise even harder, ask the teachers for tips and extra lessons.
What would I do when I was at home alone and I would hear strange noises: I would go downstairs, get the biggest frying-pan in the house, if it is serious and the noises creep me out I probably would get a knife as well. I would get my cellphone just in case I need to call the police and I will wait untill something special/creepy/weird/etc happens
Friday, 17 April 2009
Me vs Assholes
There is no difference between men and women, we all live on the same planet and we all breath in the same air. I absolutely do not think that men are any better than women, we are equal. And still, every now and then I hear inappropriate jokes, or even comments that are made because people actually mean it.
For example, two days ago I was in one of my french lessons (You have to know that I am the only girl in my french class, and that my school originally is a boysschool. I went to the same school last year but got taught by a different teacher) we were translating a long text with our teacher. My teacher asked me if I knew one of the words that was in the text, I didn't knew the word and he told me that it was stuff from last year and that I should have known it. One of the boys made a comment on this and said: "Pff, she doesn't know it because she is a girl". The teacher (a male) just looked at him and hardly did or said anything. I could have done several things. I could have started a discussion with him, I could of got angry at him and started yelling, but at that point I was so angry that I only thought of two things; either getting up and leaving the classroom or wait on what else he had to say. The teacher then asked him if he knew the answer to the question, which he didn't.
I didn't knew the answer not because I am a girl, I just never came across that word, he didn't knew it either, and he did came across it. Doesn't that prove that women are better than men? No it doesn't, because you know what, I am better than that guy, not because I am a girl but because at least I don't make rude comments, and I have seen a lot more of the world than he has.
And also, my personality grows every single day, because of those assholes out there. Every time they do anything inappropriate I grow a little, my knowledge grows and before they know it I'm ahead of them. They are laughing now, give me some years, and I'll be the one laughing my butt off
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
For example, two days ago I was in one of my french lessons (You have to know that I am the only girl in my french class, and that my school originally is a boysschool. I went to the same school last year but got taught by a different teacher) we were translating a long text with our teacher. My teacher asked me if I knew one of the words that was in the text, I didn't knew the word and he told me that it was stuff from last year and that I should have known it. One of the boys made a comment on this and said: "Pff, she doesn't know it because she is a girl". The teacher (a male) just looked at him and hardly did or said anything. I could have done several things. I could have started a discussion with him, I could of got angry at him and started yelling, but at that point I was so angry that I only thought of two things; either getting up and leaving the classroom or wait on what else he had to say. The teacher then asked him if he knew the answer to the question, which he didn't.
I didn't knew the answer not because I am a girl, I just never came across that word, he didn't knew it either, and he did came across it. Doesn't that prove that women are better than men? No it doesn't, because you know what, I am better than that guy, not because I am a girl but because at least I don't make rude comments, and I have seen a lot more of the world than he has.
And also, my personality grows every single day, because of those assholes out there. Every time they do anything inappropriate I grow a little, my knowledge grows and before they know it I'm ahead of them. They are laughing now, give me some years, and I'll be the one laughing my butt off
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn
After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Friday, 10 April 2009
The Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel or mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man likes children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
As well as a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his feelings of love on you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to you mother
And kisses away your pain.
He never has made you cry
Or hurt you in any way
Oh, fuck this stupid poem
The Perfect Man is GAY!
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Top 3: Ugly clothes 2009
I figured out that trying to bring the amount of ugly clothes back to a top 3 is quite hard. Geez, nowadays people wear everything! I saw a grown-up woman walking around in red crocs today, and yes it did burned my retina! Enfin, here is my top 3:
1:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ridiculous!
Still not convinced by this evil nature of Abercrombie and Fitch? Then take another look at the price, 666, the number of the devil! COINCIDENCE?!?!?!
1:
2:
3:
(Yes I hate Abercrombie and Fitch)
The only thing that is worse than those clothes is the person wearing them. A&F has got the diabolic gift to transform cruel hotties into pavement prostitutes. Here is some proof:
(Yes I hate Abercrombie and Fitch)
The only thing that is worse than those clothes is the person wearing them. A&F has got the diabolic gift to transform cruel hotties into pavement prostitutes. Here is some proof:
Ofcourse these 'prostitutes' don't ask money for sexuel services. So excuse me for the way I use these big words.
A couple of weeks ago I was sitting in a Pizza Express next to a guy wearing a hoody like that, I can't remember why but we started talking, the conversation went like this:
Me: So you've got a hoody saying Abercrombie and Fitch, Big Fuckin' Deal?!
Him: Yes so? I'm allowed to decide whatever I wan't to wear, am I?
Me: No! You're not, take it off! Now!
Him: No first pizza!
Me: ...
Him: I read this article in a magazine saying that Abercrombie and Fitch is the new trend, and well, i'm quite feebleminded so I buy whatever is published and shown in magazines.
Me: WHAT THE FUCK?!
Him: What, don't I seem like a feebleminded person?
Me: Also, but didn't expect you to be able to read! Pizza?
Him: ...
And the worst is still to come. Dear Readers, A&F wearers don't even get paid to wear those god-awful grave shirts. Here is some shocking image material:
66,60 Pounds
5 pounds
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Ridiculous!
Still not convinced by this evil nature of Abercrombie and Fitch? Then take another look at the price, 666, the number of the devil! COINCIDENCE?!?!?!
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
This is actually the most beautiful dog I have ever seen in my whole life, and I can call myself very lucky because I am her owner. After weeks and weeks of trying to think of a name for her we decided to call her Bonnie, and it definitely suits her character as well. She is the biggest flirt you will ever meet, and with her curly, fluffy ears, she does look a bit like me!
Friday, 27 March 2009
Thursday, 26 March 2009
I took this photo in the summer of 2008 which is not really a long time ago. I think this picture is one of my favourites and the best one I have made so far. Not only because the picture itself is good and it reveals a lot, but also because it reminds me of the great time I had. The man in the photo was one of my surf instructors. It was taking in Soulac sur Mer in France. I used to go there almost every year to surf. This year on the otherhand I have planned something totally different. Feel free to leave any comments.
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
13 feb, 23:28,
Last night I was thinking. Thinking about several things and I have been thinking about it all day long already.
What is your dream? What are you living for? What are you seeking for in this life? What makes you happy? Is there something you would like to do in later life? Or right now? Some people might have the standard fantasies about becoming married, having kids, live happily ever after. Unfortunately nowadays happily ever after seldom exists.
Imagine yourself sitting in your bedroom and slowly zoom out, from your bedroom to the rest of the floor, and everything that's around it, your parents, siblings, friends. Keep yourself as the main point but slowly keep zooming out. Zoom out of your hometown, the cities and villages around it, imagine your country, but don't forget to keep yourself in the centre. Zoom out of your country, see your country that is surrounded by other countries and keep zooming out. Don't stop until you passed the ozone layer and you are floating in a substance that knows no gravity looking at a small bubble called Earth.
Don’t you think that there is so much more out there? We, human beings, are so egocentric and self centrered. Every day we get up, get dressed and go to school/work. We all live our own, what we call, ‘perfect’ little lives. When something bad happens it must be god’s fault; God either forgot about you that day, or it's a part of his master plan - pick your belief. I just draw a blank, I believe in myself, I don’t need god, and yes even I am in the wars sometimes but it’s not god’s fault.
Anyway, I am not the person who is going to find out and reveal the secrets of the cosmic world, and I am certainly not the person who wants to keep her mind on such things, although it happens anyway. Meanwhile I was lying in my bed texting my boyfriend yesterday evening, and all these thoughts went through my mind. He was the one who started all this, who forced me to think about dreams and fantasies. His biggest dream is going to the moon. “Sometimes I look up at the sky at night and I just get hypnotised. It’s just so beautiful”. But what was mine? It took me a while, but I’ve figured it out; I want to have children, my children are my mother’s children, and they deserve to be on this world. I want to raise them well, want them to enjoy me, want myself to enjoy them, want my own mother to see I would make a perfect mum, want to see her face and see the proudness in her eyes, want her to know that her blood and genes are passed on, even though her own body isn’t amongst us anymore.
I told my boyfriend this and he gave the sweetest answer someone could ever give: “For the record you are going to be a great mum”.
In the end it doesn’t matter for me what my purpose is on this, compared to the cosmic world, little bubble. "I am here, and therefore I have to make the best out of it".
Last night I was thinking. Thinking about several things and I have been thinking about it all day long already.
What is your dream? What are you living for? What are you seeking for in this life? What makes you happy? Is there something you would like to do in later life? Or right now? Some people might have the standard fantasies about becoming married, having kids, live happily ever after. Unfortunately nowadays happily ever after seldom exists.
Imagine yourself sitting in your bedroom and slowly zoom out, from your bedroom to the rest of the floor, and everything that's around it, your parents, siblings, friends. Keep yourself as the main point but slowly keep zooming out. Zoom out of your hometown, the cities and villages around it, imagine your country, but don't forget to keep yourself in the centre. Zoom out of your country, see your country that is surrounded by other countries and keep zooming out. Don't stop until you passed the ozone layer and you are floating in a substance that knows no gravity looking at a small bubble called Earth.
Don’t you think that there is so much more out there? We, human beings, are so egocentric and self centrered. Every day we get up, get dressed and go to school/work. We all live our own, what we call, ‘perfect’ little lives. When something bad happens it must be god’s fault; God either forgot about you that day, or it's a part of his master plan - pick your belief. I just draw a blank, I believe in myself, I don’t need god, and yes even I am in the wars sometimes but it’s not god’s fault.
Anyway, I am not the person who is going to find out and reveal the secrets of the cosmic world, and I am certainly not the person who wants to keep her mind on such things, although it happens anyway. Meanwhile I was lying in my bed texting my boyfriend yesterday evening, and all these thoughts went through my mind. He was the one who started all this, who forced me to think about dreams and fantasies. His biggest dream is going to the moon. “Sometimes I look up at the sky at night and I just get hypnotised. It’s just so beautiful”. But what was mine? It took me a while, but I’ve figured it out; I want to have children, my children are my mother’s children, and they deserve to be on this world. I want to raise them well, want them to enjoy me, want myself to enjoy them, want my own mother to see I would make a perfect mum, want to see her face and see the proudness in her eyes, want her to know that her blood and genes are passed on, even though her own body isn’t amongst us anymore.
I told my boyfriend this and he gave the sweetest answer someone could ever give: “For the record you are going to be a great mum”.
In the end it doesn’t matter for me what my purpose is on this, compared to the cosmic world, little bubble. "I am here, and therefore I have to make the best out of it".
Hope
A while ago I was reading a book, and a particular bit of it really addressed me personally. Not because of the content but also because of the way it was written. Why should it be interesting for you? Because you can apply it to everyday life and in different ways, also it might appeal to you:
Why did he do it, why is he doing it, why did this happen? Why my daughter, my son, my husband, my wife? This is the unending question from victims. 'The short answer is that he likes hurting you. That's the simple motivation. The other side of it is that he knows it'll make you afraid. That makes him feel powerful. And he likes that very much'. Of course, I know there isn't really a good answer to that unending question. Why me? I'm a good mother/father/brother/daughter/son. I keep my head high, do my best. Sure I lie a little, but I tell the truth more than I lie, and I love the people in my life the best I can. I try to do more right than wrong and I'm happier then there's more smiles than pain. I'm no hero; I'm not going to end up in any history books. But I'm here, and I matter. So why me? I can't tell them what I really think. Why? Because you breathe and walk, and because evil does exist. Because the cosmic dice were rolled and you came up short. God either forgot about you that day, or it's a part of his master plan - pick your belief The truth is, bad things are going to happen somewhere, every single day, and today was just your turn. Some people might call that a bleak or cynical outlook. To me, it's what keeps me sane. Otherwise you start thinking that maybe it's the bad guys that have the edge. I prefer thinking, 'Nope. No edge. The simple fact is that evil preys on good, and today, good had a bad day'. Which brings with it an acceptante of the other side of that argument, that tomorrow it might be evil's turn for some rain. And that's called hope.
Why did he do it, why is he doing it, why did this happen? Why my daughter, my son, my husband, my wife? This is the unending question from victims. 'The short answer is that he likes hurting you. That's the simple motivation. The other side of it is that he knows it'll make you afraid. That makes him feel powerful. And he likes that very much'. Of course, I know there isn't really a good answer to that unending question. Why me? I'm a good mother/father/brother/daughter/son. I keep my head high, do my best. Sure I lie a little, but I tell the truth more than I lie, and I love the people in my life the best I can. I try to do more right than wrong and I'm happier then there's more smiles than pain. I'm no hero; I'm not going to end up in any history books. But I'm here, and I matter. So why me? I can't tell them what I really think. Why? Because you breathe and walk, and because evil does exist. Because the cosmic dice were rolled and you came up short. God either forgot about you that day, or it's a part of his master plan - pick your belief The truth is, bad things are going to happen somewhere, every single day, and today was just your turn. Some people might call that a bleak or cynical outlook. To me, it's what keeps me sane. Otherwise you start thinking that maybe it's the bad guys that have the edge. I prefer thinking, 'Nope. No edge. The simple fact is that evil preys on good, and today, good had a bad day'. Which brings with it an acceptante of the other side of that argument, that tomorrow it might be evil's turn for some rain. And that's called hope.
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