Week 3: Fighting Discipline!

Start: 6th of March: Tuesday morning: 69,1 kg.

I have had such a rough weekend. I have been eating like an absolute pig. I should be ashamed of myself, but I'm not. For some reason I don't feel that bad for eating all the bad things I did (chocolate easter eggs, not one but 10 or so. I finished a whole pack (210 gr) of M&M's with 36 gr containing 179 calories, I had chocolate sprinkles on my bread, and I didn't eat one slice, no I ate at least 4-5, and the list just continues). I probably don't feel that bad because I know I am starting today where I finished last week; eating healthy again. This is the first time I have a 'breakdown' and I'm able to get myself up again whereas previously I would've given up after I caved in. Now I haven't. Okay what I did was wrong, very wrong but I will continue and I'm O.K. with the fact I won't always be able to stay strong. Staying strong to me means having ups and downs but knowing how to get myself up after a down again and don't give in/up entirely.

The only thing I am ashamed about is that it'll probably take me an extra week to get to my new goal. Plus the fact that I haven't been able to stay under the 1500 calories AT ALL. I find it so hard to stay disciplined. Also the rewards I linked with my goals so far don't mean that much anymore. They are all about food and I let myself have a snack once I've reached my goal. But seeing as I also have a snack when I cave in isn't really rewarding anymore. I think I should change my goals to more material things; buying clothes for example is better.

Tuesday: 1650 Calories - 300 Cal walking
Wednesday: 1685 Calories - 300 Cal walking - 400 cal jogging
Thursday: 2000 Calories - 300 Cal Walking
Friday: 1940 - 300 cal walking
Saterday: 10000000 Calories (didn't count)
Sunday: 1000000 Calories (didn't count)
Monday: 1830 Calories -250 walking - 350 Gym

More or less a disapointment when I got on the scale. I didn't gain anything nor did I loose it. Still 69.1 kg. I need to discipline myself! I CAN DO THIS!